


November Rain

by twilight_jisung



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Stray Kids
Genre: Lee Felix - Freeform, Seo Changbin - Freeform, bang chan - Freeform, han jisung - Freeform, hwang hyunjin - Freeform, kim seungmin - Freeform, lee minho - Freeform, minsung - Freeform, stray kids - Freeform, yang jeongin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26959087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilight_jisung/pseuds/twilight_jisung
Summary: A college au in which Jisung has loved Minho since they were kids.*Warning!!* mentions of abuse, alcohol addiction, homophobia, biphobia, depression, and anxiety
Kudos: 8





	1. one

It was a crisp November afternoon. Leaves of orange, yellow, and red flew through the air, blown by a cool breeze. Couples, friends, and families were enjoying their Saturday and the beautiful weather. Well, everyone but one person -- Han Jisung. Jisung walked through a park filled with smiling faces, but his was different. His face had tears streaming down it. 

You'd think that after all the times he returned home, he would be used to his mom drunkenly telling him that he was a mistake and how much of a disappointment he was, both for his mental health issues and being bisexual. You'd think he'd be used to standing in front of his younger siblings to protect them from being hit, and taking the blow himself. How his dad would constantly apologize for needing to take most of his money that he earned working at a small clothing store to support his family and the apologies for everything else, which were constant. Not to mention the cries of his siblings that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Jisung was never the favourite child, but he was supported by his father and siblings at least. 

As Jisung once again stepped foot on his university's campus, he wiped his tears on the sleeves of his black hoodie and straightened the red beanie on his head. Students were sprinkled around the courtyard, sat on the grass talking amongst themselves and studying for their upcoming midterms. A familiar dark haired male waved to him as he approached the doors of the dorm building. Hwang Hyunjin. Since the beginning of the year, he had made an effort to chat with Jisung and wave at him. Jisung had never really understood why, but he waved back at the boy none the less and forced a smile onto his face. However, before the taller male could approach him, he entered the dorm building and started climbing the three flights of stairs to his dorm. He took the key out of his pocket before unlocking the door and entering, greeted by the familiar sight of his dorm. Felix, his roommate, was once again not there. Probably outside somewhere enjoying the day. 

He pulled off his docs before flopping onto his bed, which was adorned with a dark grey duvet and a few plushies. He stared at the many posters, photos, and decorations on the wall of his side of the dorm before once again letting the tears fall from his eyes. 

Oh, how he wanted, no, needed to be held and told everything would be alright. This time of the year was especially hard for him. Dealing with the anxiety that his exams caused, but most of all, it's the anniversary of his coming out. He blindly took out his phone and called a familiar number. 

"Can you come here? Please..." he managed to choke out. After hearing an "of course" from the other end, he began to drown in his thoughts and anxiety. It swallowed him whole. In fact, he was so deep in his own mind, he didn't hear the door open, and was only brought partially back to reality when a familiar pair of arms wrapped around him. He relaxed into the hug and pressed his face into the person's neck and let the tears continue to flow, along with some very irregular and shallow breathing. The pair of arms, Minho's arms, squeezed him tighter and rubbed comforting circles into his back. Reassuring and comforting words were whispered into his ear and he tried to focus on the voice of his best friend. They had been friends for eight years and Minho was almost always there for him when he needed it. 

"You're safe, everything is going to be alright" was heard from Minho as he continued to hold Jisung.

After what seemed like an eternity for Jisung, the tears stopped. As to whether this was because he couldn't cry anymore or that he had let out all his emotions was unclear. He removed his face from Minho's neck and his eyes met his friend's, whose thumbs were quick to gently wipe away tears and cup his face.

══════════════════

"Hey there, Sung," Minho whispered, a gentle smile on his face. "Wanna talk about it?"

I sighed and took a deep breath before starting. "I went home this morning to give money to my dad and got yelled at by my mom," I muttered. "And I'm really fucking stressed about exams and everything else in my life."

"Again, Ji?" he asked, concern painted on his face. "And try not to worry to much about the exams. You've studied and will study enough for them and you always do well."

"It's honesty normal at this point. Go home, give dad money, get yelled at and maybe hit, and leave again," I explained and wrapped my arms around him. "And you know damn well that I've only been to about half my classes. I just feel unmotivated to do anything and so useless."

"But Ji, it's not normal. How about next time you go home, I'll come with you," he suggested and laid us down on my bed, pulling us closer. "But you're not useless, Sungie."

I laid my head on his chest. This was normal for me, for us. I often needed comfort. To others this looked romantic, but it's not. It's platonic, but how I longed for it to be more. "But I don't want you to get hurt."

Minho started playing with my hair. It was a habit he picked up to help calm me when I'm stressed. "I'd do anything to protect you."

We continued to lay like this, Minho playing with my hair and humming a soft melody. Soon enough I fell asleep in his arms.

"Sweet dreams, Sung. I'll be here when you wake up."

══════════════════

But he wasn't there when Jisung woke up. The side of the bed where he had been previously was empty. He checked his phone. There was no message from Minho. He looked around the dorm, still nothing from Minho. However, he did stumble across a sickynote that Felix had left.

I'm gone out for supper with Seungmin and Jeongin, will be back later. Text if you need anything.

\- Felix

He sighed and sat at his desk, opening his laptop and a music production program. The track that he had started a few days ago was displayed unfinished in front of him so, he decided to finish it. Over the next couple of hours he had finished the track and then begin to write the lyrics. 

_My life's at a rock bottom's cliff_

_I'm walking in a dark tunnel_

_I'm holding up_

_This cruel, dreadful day alone_

_My school hallway is fading away_

_On this unfamiliar way_

_I'm so unlucky_

_I don't have any map to tell me if this road is right_

_There's no way to go up_

_What I've been through is a maze_

_I never want to go back to_

_I'm comforting myself, shedding blood and sweat_

_Instead of blood and tears_

_They tell me such hills_

_Are just passing showers_

_If you want success_

_Put snares that are called failures_

_So yes, I bite the baits that are called pain_

_I'm wandering around with my exhausted wings_

_Of passions temporarily folded_

_My life's at a rock bottom's cliff_

_I'm walking in a dark tunnel_

_I'm holding up_

_This cruel, dreadful day alone_

_Though I reach out my hand, there's nobody to hold it_

_They're going up riding on my pain and tears_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_My hellevator_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_My hellevator_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_There's nothing for me_

_Nobody really cares about me_

_No worries for me, just stone cold_

_"Give up on your nonsense dreams"_

_Their words on giving up hit my ears_

_My despair only gets bigger_

_Covering the sky called hope_

_With the hands of the people beside me_

_I'm praying for myself to hold on_

_To save myself from their unkind stares_

_They're arguing if I'm crazy or not_

_I'll be somebody's clown even if I make it through_

_That's what you're going to be_

_Stop trying to be a singer_

_I push myself_

_Through hearing their words_

_My life's at a rock bottom's cliff_

_I'm walking in a dark tunnel_

_I'm holding up_

_This cruel, dreadful day alone_

_Though I reach out my hand, there's nobody to hold it_

_They're going up riding on my pain, my tears_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_My hellevator_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_My hellevator_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_I'm going to find out where the exit is_

_To save me from being locked in the darkness_

_I frantically try to run away_

_I'm on the hellevator, I'm going up_

_I'm escaping my dark past_

_Lighting up my dark road ahead_

_I run as I could forget_

_Those tedious moments_

_The bell of the new beginning_

_That they've been ignoring rings_

_I got on my hellevator that'll hold my hand_

_And take me to the penthouse_

_I'm on a hellevator_

_My hellevator_

_I'm on a hellevator_

After another hour had passed, Jisung found himself staring at the finished lyrics and track. His friends Chan and Changbin would be excited to hear it. The small amount of joy he felt disappeared when his eyes met his psych textbook and realized that he had yet to study today.

Upon noticing it was around nine in the night, he decided he needed a break. When he had checked his phone earlier there had been a message from Hyunjin, wondering if he wanted to go out for drinks. Jisung decided to take him up on this offer. He needed something do distract him from the anxiety and pain he felt.

══════════════════

The pair had arrived at the bar around ten. 

Hyunjin was dressed to impress as always, wearing black jeans, and a black turtle neck with a white button up on the top. A simple silver necklace also clasped around his neck. 

Jisung had opted for a black t-shirt and jeans which had a silver chain dangling from the side of them. He had tossed his leather jacket on because the evening was cool and also wore his platform docs. He felt a little underdressed compared to the taller male, but he was assured that he looked just fine or 'handsome' as Hyunjin said.

Their evening had went decently normal. They had chatted, while these conversations were initiated by Hyunjin, but Jisung still replied. Hyunjin had ordered a few beers on tap, however Jisung opted for whisky and was downing them quite fast. 

══════════════════

"So how are your classes going?" Hyunjin asked as he sipped his beer.

"They're going okay I guess," I replied and sipped on yet another drink. "Professor Kim is kinda of harsh though."

"He is," the older chuckled. "You're in his english class too? How come I've never seen you?"

"I usually sit towards the back," I mumbled. "Well, for the classes I've been to anyways."

"Oh?" he questioned. "Any particular reason why?"

I sighed and downed the rest of my drink. "I'd rather not talk about it."

══════════════════

Their conversations continued. Hyunjin asking questions or making statements and Jisung giving short answer or just nodding along. After an unknown number of drinks, Jisung was drunk. Very drunk. Hyunjin decided to take Jisung back to his dorm. They had to walk back to campus because neither of them were sober enough to drive.

"Minhoooooo," Jisung whined as Hyunjin dragged him up the street. 

"I'm not Minho," Hyunjin muttered. "I'm Hyunjin."

"Minhooo," he younger sighed. "I love you."

All Hyunjin could do was sigh and continue to lead the drunken boy do his dorm.

"I've loved you for like foreeeeever," Jisung continued. "But you don't love me."

"But I do," Hyunjin whispered. He thought this went unnoticed by the shorter, however a look of surprise painted his face when Jisung connected their lips. 

Hyunjin was quick to push him away. While he longed to kiss Jisung, it wasn't like this. To Jisung, he was Minho right now.

When the once again stepped foot on campus, Hyunjin messaged Minho to come and stay with him. It was clear Jisung wanted Minho and not him. Once Minho had arrived Hyunjin reluctantly went to his dorm before saying goodbye to Jisung, though he definitely wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

Felix had messaged Minho earlier and said that he would be staying at his friends for the night, this left Minho and a very drunk Jisung together.

Despite what Jisung had initially thought about alcohol numbing the pain he felt, he was wrong. It was much worse. The poor boy spent hours of the night crying why Minho held him, played with his hair, and sang. Once Jisung stopped crying, he mumbled something incoherent about 'love' and 'Minho' however Minho couldn't pick this out and by then the poor boy had fallen into dreamland, or so he thought. 

Minho tried to get up from Jisung's bed to sleep in a chair or on Felix's bed but stopped when a hand grabbed his arm and a sleepy voice told him to stay. Minho mumbled a quiet 'okay' before climbing back in bed with his best friend, who was quick to burry his head in his chest. Minho happily wrapped his hands around Jisung before pressing a small kiss to the top of his head and whispered a 'goodnight.' 

Not long after Minho joined Jisung in dreamland.


	2. Chapter 2

The clock read 11:00pm as Jisung looked up from his psych textbook with teary eyes. He’d been studying for most of the day and felt as though no progress has been made. Tears streamed down his face and onto the many papers scattered around his desk as he struggled to contain a sob.

“I’m gonna fucking fail.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. His leg bounced aggressively. 

He continued to look through his textbook in hopes of retaining something, anything, from the many classes he missed. Not to mention his other courses.

His studying was once again interrupted by the sound of his dorm door opening.

“Hey Jisung,” a cheery Aussie voice greeted. Felix was back from, well Jisung wasn’t sure where. The younger male had definitely told him, but he was to immersed in himself to notice.

He didn’t reply to Felix in hopes of composing himself before the younger noticed. But all hope was lost when Felix leaned over his shoulder to see what he was up to and noticed the small water droplets over the page. 

“What’s up? You ok?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go get some fresh air.” Ji choked back another sob. “I’ll see you later.”

With that he quickly stood up, almost knocking into Felix before walking out of the dorm and accidentally slamming the door. 

He made his way out of the residence building and to a bench somewhere quiet on campus. Not many people were outside at this hour in the night since midterms were tomorrow. 

He sat on the bench letting out loud sobs, and tried to muffle them with the sleeves of the black hoodie he wore that swallowed him.

The campus was quite besides the sound of Jisung’s sobs and the gentle rustle of tree leaves. 

The silence was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching him, followed by the squeak of the bench as a person sat down next to him. 

“Hey, hey. Jisung, it’s gonna be ok,” a gentle voice spoke. Hyunjin’s voice. He wrapped his arms around the sobbing boy and pulled him close. “You’re ok. Everything is gonna be ok.”

They sat like this for a while. Jisung cries slowed, but tears still streamed down his face. And Hyunjin rubbed comforting circles on the younger’s back and hummed a quiet melody. 

Jisung felt comfortable in Hyunjin’s arms. He felt safe. Something he hadn’t felt in a person since Minho. Not even his friends, who were the people he made music with, brought him the same comfort. 

“Let’s get you back to your dorm, yeah?” Hyunjin suggested.

“Okay,” Jisung mumbled and buried his face into Hyunjin. 

“That’s okay Hyunjin,” a voice called in the distance. Soon Minho with disheveled hair and a messily tied tie appeared. “I’ll take him back.”

Jisung looked up at Minho with teary eyes and a slightly pouty expression. He know Minho had been sleeping around again. He wished he could have been surprised but this had been happening since high school. But alas he let Minho help him up and they made their way back towards the dorm with intertwined hands. 

Neither noticed the saddened expression of Hyunjin who they left behind on the bench. 

Minho brought Jisung back to his dorm, kinda hoping that Hyunjin would go to a friends room instead of returning to theirs. 

Jisung sat on Minho’s bed and played with the ends of his sweater sleeves while Minho changed. 

He watched as Min changed out of jeans and into pyjama pants, how he removed his tie and half hazardly tossed it into a drawer, how he unbuttoned the white button down to reveal a toned stomach which Ji had seen on many occasions but never failed to drool over, and his body peppered with hickeys.

The sight of the red and purple marks that painted his body saddened Jisung, this didn’t go unnoticed by Minho. 

“Ji, what’s wrong?” Minho asked, his tone soft. “Common you know you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now Min, ok?” Jisung sighed. “I’m just stressed over tomorrow.”

Minho nodded and sat down on his bed behind Jisung, pulling him close until Ji’s back laid against his bare chest and propped his chin on the younger’s head. 

“It doesn’t always have to be you, you know?” Minho whispered. “Your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bare the weight of the world.” 

“I know,” Jisung mumbled once again fighting back tears. He felt so pathetic for crying all the time.

“Remember in the seventh grade when we went on a field trip to the zoo and I got licked by a giraffe when I gave it a carrot?”

“Yeah,” Jisung laughed lightly. “You got so grossed out and screamed.”

“How about when we went to see frozen in theatres for the third time and sang along to the songs and almost got kicked out.”

“Mmmmm. I don’t think I ever laughed so hard.” Jisung smiled.

“How about when we went to the fair together and we went on the ferris wheel and you had to hold my hand because i’m terrified of heights.”

Jisung remembered that day all too well. That’s the day when he realized that he liked Minho more then a best friend should. “Yes,” his voice cracked and tears once again rolled down over his cheeks. “I remember.”

“Did I say something wrong Sunshine?”

“No, no you didn’t,” Jisung replied. “We just haven’t done anything like that in a long time.”

“Holding hands or going somewhere?” Minho chuckled and intertwined their fingers. “There, now we’re holding hands. As for going somewhere together, we how about we go to a café tomorrow after exams? Does that sound good?”

Jisung hummed in response and relaxed into the older, letting the scent of Minho’s cologne overwhelm his senses. 

Minho pressed a kiss to the top of Jisung’s head and butterflies filled Ji’s stomach. 

“Goodnight sunshine,” the older mumbled sleepily and gently pulled Jisung down with him to lie down.

“Goodnight Min.”

══════════════════

It was around 3pm when Jisung shakily walked out of the exam room in the psych building with bloodshot eyes and messy hair. He had been on the verge of crying for all his exams and sleep hadn’t exactly blessed him last night.

His stomach let out a grumble as he continued out of the psych building. He hadn’t eaten yet today due to the amount of anxiety and stress he had felt. 

His eyes met Minho’s as he pushed open the glass doors that trapped him inside the psych building. Minho looked perfect like always. He stood with a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth and wore black jeans with a hole in one knee, a grey button down with a black band T-shirt underneath, and blue converse. Not to mention that not a hair was out of place on his head. He looked content, compared to a very distressed looking Jisung. 

Jisung on the other hand, looked like a complete mess. He wore skinny jeans and his docs, as well as a grey hoodie he had owned since high school, and a oversized puffy jacket that Minho’s family had given him for Christmas a few years ago. 

“How were the exams?” Minho asked while extinguishing his cigarette.

“They were horrible. I didn’t know half of it,” Jisung sighed. “I definitely failed and my profs aren’t gonna be happy if I did. What about yours?”

“They were easy, I essentially had to write a bunch of essays,” Minho sighed and sent the younger a comforting smile. “And I’m sure you did fine Ji, you worked hard the last couple nights to study.” 

“I mean that’s bullshit because I barely studied, but anyways,” Jisung chuckled. “I need to change before we leave campus. I look like shit.”

“Ji, you look fine.” 

“Nope. I’m going to change.”

“Ok then, let’s go.”

The pair headed back to Minho’s dorm, much to Jisung’s protests. Minho gave Jisung a long dark brown jacket that was a few sized to big on him. It had a silky lining and smelt of Minho’s cologne. According to Minho, Jisung didn’t have to change anything else about his outfit, because he looked great anyways. 

Jisung had to admit he looked better now. The jacket felt like a warm hug, and he felt safe. He stared at himself a little longer in the bathroom mirror before Minho peeked his head around the door. 

“Ready to go sunshine?” Minho questioned while kind of checking out the younger.

“Yeah,” Jisung replied and shot the older a confused look. “Where exactly are we going?”

“A café.”

“You little shi- but what café?” Jisung huffed. 

“It’s a surprise,” Minho teased. A smirk painted his face.

In the midst of Minho’s teasing the pair left the dorm building and began walking off campus. 

“Min, I thought you quit smoking.” Jisung sighed. 

“I did, what made you think otherwise?” Minho asked and tensed a little. 

“For fucks sake! You can’t pull some fault in our stars shit on me because I saw you smoking when I came out of my exams,” Jisung exasperated. “When did you start again?”

“Okay okay fine,” Minho mumbled and took a deep breath. “I started again last month. I’m sorry Ji.”

“There’s no need to apologize to me, a lot of people relapse when trying to quit something. Jisung smiled softly. “We’ll work on it together, Okay?”

“Okay.”

Not long later the pair arrived at the café and Jisung’s eyes widened. He remembered telling Minho about how cool this place looked earlier the semester and how he hadn’t found the time to go yet, nor had the money to go. 

“You remembered?” Jisung questioned. His eyes were lit up like they held all the galaxies stars.

“Of course I did,” the older smiled. “How could I forget when you literally raved about how beautiful the café looked. Now, what do you want to order?”

“Umm I’ll have an iced americano,” Ji beamed while fumbling to take out his wallet. “Oh! And a slice of cheesecake.” 

Minho was quick to bat Jisung’s hands away from taking out his wallet. “Today is my treat,” he chuckled. “Go find us a seat and i’ll bring our order.”

Ji nodded and headed off to a table next to a big window and a fireplace. The atmosphere of the café was very cozy and warm. It was peaceful despite the many chatting faces around him.

After a couple minutes of sitting alone and taking in his surrounding, Minho returned to the table and passed Jisung his order. 

“Iced americano and cheesecake for my sunshine,” he smiled. “And an iced americano and a cookie for me.”

Minho’s smile was Jisung’s favourite thing. The way his eyes formed crescents and how his nose scrunched a little never failed to make Jisung feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. 

The pair sat chatting for what seemed like hours, feeling safe and content in each others presence. 

Jisung ranted about his exams earlier and even mentioned that he had wrote some more lyrics. Lyrics that Minho insisted on reading because he was Jisung’s biggest fan. Jisung however denied and said that the older had to wait until the song was released. 

The younger male hadn’t noticed how Minho seemed nervous or a little more flustered then usual. He did however notice that even when they had stopped talking for a few minutes, Minho continued to stare. 

“Min... you’re staring,” Jisung chuckled. “Do i have something on my face?”

Minho’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. “No, you’re good.”

“Ah okay then?” Jisung beamed, smile present on his face. 

“I love seeing you smile sung,” Minho grinned. “It’s the most beautiful sight in the world.”

“Th-thank you,” the younger stuttered. “Oh and thank you for doing this with me today, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem, I enjoy spending time with you,” the older hummed.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

So there the pair sat laughing and chatting for hours, absorbed in themselves and having a good time. Right now, neither of them had any other thoughts besides those filled with the other. Jisung couldn’t help but fall even more in love with his best friend. 

_If only he felt the same._


End file.
